The Myth of “Just Let Go”: How to Actually Stop Worrying (It’s Not a Delete Button)
“You need to let go.” “It’s not that hard, just stop thinking about it.”
You’ve heard these statements, and they are, quite frankly, unhelpful. This popular myth—that letting go works like hitting a delete button on your worries—makes the real struggle of controlling rumination feel like a personal failure. In reality, you can’t simply erase people, situations, or worries close to your heart.
At minhance wellness, we want to set the record straight: Letting go is possible, but it is a subtle skill, not a command.
Actual letting go is based on how you hold your ground and refuse to let the thought control you. Your relationship with the worry changes. You don’t stop worrying about it completely; instead, you learn to become the observer, not the participant. You treat the thought as a wave that will pass, refusing to let its intensity push or carry you with it.
The minhance Method: 3 Steps to Observational Mastery
Letting go requires patience, resilience, and a different set of mental tools. In sessions at minhance, we help you cultivate this skill, often called cognitive defusion in therapy:
1. Name Your Worry (The Separation)
You begin by creating critical distance from the thought. Don’t say, “I am going to fail.” Instead, name the thought itself: “I am having the thought that I will mess this up.” Identifying your thought creates a vital sense of autonomy from it. It’s an object you are observing, not a fact you are living.
2. Realize What’s Not Under Your Control (The Surrender)
Ask yourself, “Can I do anything about this worry right now?”
- If Yes: Take immediate, small action.
- If No: You intentionally stop trying to control the worry, the thought, or the future event. This is the moment of honest surrender. You realize you have no control over the outcome, only over your reaction to the thought.
3. Focus on What’s Next (The Re-Engagement)
You shift your attention and energy back to the present moment or the next achievable task. This is the active, mindful component of letting go. You start working on the next possible action rather than letting your worry weigh you down and paralyze you.
Why This Takes Therapeutic Support
Letting go doesn’t happen with the push of a button. It is a new activity that takes time and effort, much like building a muscle.
This process is hard, especially if your nervous system is wired for anxiety and hyper-alertness. If you have a history of trauma or chronic stress, these worries feel like essential safety warnings, not just annoying thoughts.
At minhance, we use evidence-based approaches like Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Somatic techniques to help you:
- Understand the root cause of why your brain latches onto certain worries.
- Gently teach your nervous system that these thoughts are not an immediate threat.
- Practice the skill of observational mastery until it becomes your new default setting.
Stop Fighting Your Thoughts, Start Observing Them
Letting go doesn’t mean you’ll completely stop obsessing over something; it means you learn to not let the worry control you. It means you learn to manage your relationship with every potential outcome.
If you are tired of being carried away by the waves of worry, you don’t have to learn this difficult skill alone. The minhance team is here to guide you, step-by-step, toward a peaceful and present mind.
➡️ Ready to transform your relationship with worry and anxiety? Schedule a confidential consultation with a minhance therapist today.
